Hi, I’m Jason and I’m here to talk about new beginnings. I found that to be a difficult theme to write about. It’s something that most people experience at some point in their lives and the ones I have experienced haven’t been any more exciting or entertaining than the average persons. I’ve met people that have changed my life, I’ve dealt with loss, and I moved away from my home town. But, I live in Arizona, so everyone I know has moved away from their home town. So, what I’ve written for tonight we’ll call an exercise in poetry and prose.
Can the energy of the sun awaken
Before the twilight after dawn
Embraced by the cold chill
A love that you can feel
Waiting for that sun to rise
Can the peeking of her light bring new meaning
A kiss good morning from the world
Gently, she explains
Through all the tears and pain
Yesterday was not for naught
Can the shining of her light make all clear
As her warmth sinks into your skin
I’ll show you the way
Grasping my hand
Her breeze whispers as we walk along
Can the setting sun convince
That she’ll return in the ‘morn
You’ll awaken to the eyes
Of hope in the skies
A love that cannot be lost
The beginning is so exciting. Everything is new and happy. You’re letting something new into your life, even though you’ve been hurt before, left with a bad taste in your mouth. That’s what I did. And why shouldn’t you? We all want happiness and we’ve got to take any shots at it that we can. That’s what I did.
And it was good. I can still feel the warmth. I remember the excitement when a friend that knew me well, a friend that knows my taste, told me what they saw. I was ready for something new and this was my chance.
And you know, things were good for a long time.
How can there be grief
Before the loss
Of a bomb
You know will explode
An explosion so strong
Nothing has happened
There is no pain
Rears it’s ugly face
In the presence of happiness
What is here
In the moment
Ruined by the mind
The thoughts of what will be
What can be
What may be
As if one can know
I know that you’ve been there before. Seemingly perfect, but you can feel it coming to an end. Somehow, even though I felt it happening, I wasn’t expecting it. On a day like any other, I walked into the door and everything changed. Gone.
The taste still lingers
Warmth that spread through the body
For a moment, true happiness
Now a memory
The name still rings in my head
The lava cheese sauce
The fresh ground beef
The cheese shredded to perfection
Perfection in a crunchy red shell
It seems like memories are the things that keep us going. A taste, a smell, warmth at the end of your finger tips. Thinking back can bring that rush, the serotonin and dopamine surging in the brain, even when the chest feels empty and the heart aches.
And I still did it. I had accepted the loss. But I still did it. The memory was worth the pain.
Time to break through
The struggle with the head and the heart
It’s gone and there is no bringing it back
And on the horizon
A new beginning
Two words that bring hope and happiness
Two words that can mend the torn heart
Two words that make it hard to remember what was lost
We all get discouraged, thinking we’ll never find the one. But it only feels that way until you do. And all you can do is keep trying until it happens. Through all the pain I still managed to get where I needed to go. I found happiness.